So, here's the story of a lifetime and my connection to the Illuminati. This all happened in 2O12, and Love Lust Faith Dreams by Thirty Seconds To Mars drops in 2O13. Adventure of a lifetime and I'll leave it at that. Couldn't make this up if I tried The Battle Scarred Conquistador. Then we have the issue of the Eminem picture and my forehead. You be the judge. What are the odds of all this being a coincidence? Along with me stabbing myself in the neck and graduating HighSchool on 6/6/6? It's the Illuminati at work and I think something has been going on. Wish someone would listen.
Chapter 1 – I’ve Been Up In The Air
The story goes back before the beginning, but I need to establish a beginning though so I am. After I lost my silver spoon, I went to live in Worthington Ohio with family. The internet was slow, I was going through somethings like I still am today, and I started hearing voices. Now, I’ve been diagnosed with everything in the book, and while schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder are the two most frequent and that would be a reason why I heard voices, these voices were distinct. With different tones and fluctuations so to speak. I remember the first night I started hearing these voices, I was in my bedroom like I am alot of the time now and it freaked me out. I didn’t sleep, and since I was a padawan in the ways of the force still to make an analogy, I thought I was talking to alot of different people, mostly famous.
I would talk back of course and I do to this day, the voices gave me a friend even though they come and go. I named him ‘G’, because I am ‘P’ or ‘PEE’ laugh out loud. The ‘E’s are silent because real gangsters move in silence but that will be another post. Talking back took some adjusting, I was moving my mouth alot in the beginning but got better so I don’t have to move my mouth anymore. Anyway it could be schizophrenia, or it could be someone talking to me through telepathy just to throw that out there. I did rap about Professor X for crying out loud. And there was that one time at Ohio State, and what happened on Facebook that one night. I’m not going into details about those two things right now cause I don’t want to stray from my main topic but feel free to ask me about it.
So I was sitting in my basement talking to ‘myself’ like a medical professional would say, or ‘someone else’ like a crazy Illuminati follower who had everything to get him noticed by someone important and powerful would say. Anyway this will all sound crazy to someone who doesn’t know the whole story but the voices told me to go to Los Angeles or the City Of Angels so to speak. Days before I left, I had been exploring the world with my new found voice or friend so to speak. But the night I left, I went to a hotel to buy the tickets with a credit card and I’m going to leave it at that. I didn’t use the computer at home because the voices had me out and about. I actually bribed the hotel clerk to let me use the computer in hotel because I wasn’t a guest there. After I got the tickets, I headed to the airport with nothing but like one hundred dollars in my pocket. No clothes, nothing…
I stayed up all night in the terminal waiting for my flight and talking to the voice. Something weird happened at that moment. I was led to the bathroom by the voice and I threw up like something made me. I of course was freaked out, and it eventually led me to hypothesize that I was RFID’d and it was how I was communicating with the voice. It’s still a theory to this day. I eventually got on a plane to St. Paul Minnesota before I was off to the City Of Angels.
The plane ride was about three hours from Minnesota, and the whole time I was having a conversation with myself and creating pictures in my head or visuals so to speak. The pictures were relative to the people I thought I was talking to. Like I said above, this was when the voice was new to me and I thought it was multiple famous people. Anyway, the plane landed and I thought someone of the ‘Illuminati’ was going to meet me at LAX. No one was there, I had less than one hundred dollars on me at this point in my life, I was nervous since I didn’t have any money to get home. I actually peed myself a little bit.
Chapter 2 – Lost In The City Of Angels
I ended up sitting down in the airport, and found a number for some transportation. It was busy was heck at LAX and the money aspect of getting a ride didn’t really bother me because the voice was the only thing on my mind. My ride showed up about forty minutes later and asked me where I was headed. I told them just to start driving. When I saw the mountains, I immediately felt positive energy sweep all over me. It was so beautiful. The roads were winding and had palm trees and things of that nature. I eventually had the driver stop because I didn’t want to run up the meter too much. I paid him like half my money and told him to come back in about an hour.
I got dropped off at this mail place to remain general, it has significance in my story. Anyway the voice in my head was telling which direction to go. Left, Right, and things of that nature. I started counting things, and thinking certain things were laid out for me because of how this voice already made me feel special and the Illuminati could be present. Anyway, I saw a billboard or something for the Four Seasons hotel, so when the driver came back, I had him take me to the hotel. I had blown about 70-80 percent of my money the first day.
I did pick up some orange juice before I went into the Four Seasons. I essentially sat in the Four Seasons for over an hour talking to myself drinking orange juice from a gas station in some ragged clothes. Eventually a member of the staff came over and told me I had to order something or needed to leave. I was under the impression that Katy Perry was coming to meet me at the Four Seasons because of the voice and how I thought I was talking to different people because of the different fluctuations and tones that came with it. At that point, I was kicked out of the Four Seasons. I kind of just stood outside the hotel for awhile until a police patrol car parked by the hotel so I left.
Walked around the rest of that day, talking to ‘myself’, the voices had always been positive and negative and I will really shed some light on that thought in chapter three, but eventually they had me freaked out and made me think T.I. was in LA in a Bugatti looking to kill me. I know the whole thought is absurd but I started running down the streets looking for a place to hide. It was night, and I found a office building unlocked. I sat down in the hallway and charged my phone. While I was sitting there I started calling people that I knew whether my relationship was good with them or not and asked them stuff like if they were ‘coming to LA?’
I spent about four weeks in LA, most the time just walking around talking to the voice. Not eating, not really in touch with reality unless the voices to this day are telepathy. The voices would lead me on paths, which is what essentially made the trip interesting. Night after night, I would go hiking in the Hollywood hills, no sleep, no nothing. One night I went off the beaten path and starting hiking with sandals on steep hilly ground. I got dehydrated and my calf muscles cramped up. I eventually made it to a road in a neighborhood in the hills and was rolling down the sidewalk and road because I couldn’t walk. I eventually ended up on the side of the road and waved someone down to call an ambulance.
I was taken to the nearest hospital, where I was given fluids and rested up. I eventually was let go after about two nights in the hospital. The thing is, the voice told me to leave my phone in the hospital. So now, I was in a new part of LA just walking around talking to this voice. Want to say something, something that is hard for me to talk about…
When I left, I bought tickets like I said above. I bought another one for someone I will call 'prose' in this post because the voice had me believing she was coming with me. She obviously didn’t show up at the airport. When I got to LA, the voice had me thinking that I was going to meet her somewhere hence which led to alot of the walking around. This is more chapter three material but I just wanted to cover this aspect of my trip and experience.
I wanted to touch base on the prose issue (and it is an issue to this day and I plan to blog about it more), because one night the voice was telling me she was at a certain house at the top of this hill. I was dead tired and just barley making my way up this hill. I eventually came to this house and it had a fence and a camera looking me square in the eye. Had gotten any sleep since the hospital but since I thought prose was in the house, I ripped out these garden pots and stacked them up and hopped the fence where I collapsed on the ground.
The people who actually lived there eventually came out and shined a flashlight on me. To this day I was so glad it wasn’t a gun. I couldn’t move. I was so exhausted and dehydrated again. The police and paramedics came, and when they handcuffed me I threw up. They put me in the back of the ambulance where I passed out in.
I was taken to Northridge hospital, it was a psychiatric unit and it was nice. There was a basketball court and pool and we all went out once a day to get recreation. There was also karaoke. I remember getting a 91 percent of The Verve Pipe – The Freshman. Ended up meeting some nice people, and I ended up getting some new clothes that people had left at the hospital from previous stays so that was good. I was let go after about a week and a half. The hospital was kind of a good thing because I got a shower and got rested up. Of course though, I was still talking to this voice, and I was still looking for prose.
At this point, my family knew I was in LA because I called home from the hospital and for the fact that I ran the insurance. It was hard for them to find me though because I kept wandering off because of the voice. Eventually by chance or being led there intentionally, I ended up on Muholland Drive and got to see the Hollywood sign and some really nice houses. I went to the top of the hill and started ringing door bells, jumping fences, and talking to people. One of the residents then called the police and told them what I was doing. Tired again I sat down on the road. About five minutes later, I saw a police helicopter above me circling. I remember waving at it. Of course twenty minutes later or so, a patrol car rolls up and arrests me guns drawn. I get taken down to the station, go to arraignment, and the case is dropped because the people didn’t show up (thank god).
The police did give the people getting out of jail that day some apples and snacks which was great because I hadn’t eaten in awhile because all my money was gone except for a couple bucks. Thus continued my walking around LA being lost. One memorable night was when I found a holiday inn, jumped the fence to the hot tub, and sat in it all night looking at the stars.
I was primarily in Burbank, but I went through some rough areas, I looked like a hobo sometimes. Remember pushing a shopping cart through a pretty bad area hallucinating thinking I was talking to Indrid Cold. I went for miles and miles and the voice eventually told me to turn back. Remember hanging out at this laundry mat and grocery store. Remember making collect calls home but no one picked up.
After that night and going into the next day, I met a man. He said he was a private investigator that had been hired to find me and wanted me to come with him. At first I was apprehensive, but I did eventually go with him because I was in bad shape. We drove around the city for a little bit, went to his house, got to see the ocean, and then he bought me lunch and took me to a hotel where a fell asleep on the best mattress I’ve ever slept on.
I woke up and my family was there to take me home, I didn’t want to go because I was still looking for prose and the voice had me convinced I was supposed to stay in LA. But ultimately I did go back with my family because I had nothing in my name, and my family was being quite stern with me. We left the hotel and headed to the airport on a plane back to Columbus Ohio ending my adventure in the City Of Angels.
(Making a point that I haven’t really made much in the writing because I don’t like to talk about it, prose was a primary variable why I was acting crazy, along with the fact that I was hearing voices. I was looking for her, I believed she was there, and the voices were talking back to me about her).
Chapter 3 – The Battle Scarred Conquistador
I’m going to save what happened in between chapter 2 and 3 for another post because it’s another story altogether. I remember the night I tried to commit suicide with a knife, it was one of the most craziest nights of my life. I had gotten kicked out of the house late September 2012, and I had been hearing voices since February 2012. I essentially was wandering around the streets of Westerville. When suddenly I caught a case of ED or erectile dysfunction tied to the depression I was dealing with at the time. At the same time, the voices changed to things like ‘your going to die,’ and ‘the Navy SEALS are coming to throw you in Hoover Dam in a nailed coffin.’ I started acting erratic, running down the street in the middle of old Westerville. laying down on the sidewalk, and approaching Westerville Police saying I needed help like I’m crazy or something. Because I didn’t think my cack was going to come back because of the voice, I started looking for sharp objects to cut my throat but nothing really did the trick. Eventually, I made it to Kroger in Westerville where I got a pairing knife, walked into the bathroom, and stabbed myself in the neck for various reasons (ie. prose, ED, depression, fear).
I remember blood going all over the wall, and me falling to the ground immediately. after about a minute the lower half of my body went numb. The paramedics eventually rushed in and held my neck shut. I did pass out. Remember getting loaded into the ambulance, and going into surgery, and waking up that’s it. I did scream when they stick this wire up my urethra, and I spent three weeks in the psyche ward with a sowed up and sore neck.
To this day I wonder if the Government made me stab myself in the neck. The voice I hear put me in a different state of mind which made me do it. Also, regarding the Thirty Seconds To Mars songs I’ve attached and are related to this time in my life were released in 2013, and everything that happened to me happened in 2012.
Listening to the lyrics of the songs really sheds some light. References to the neck in Up In The Air for example. Being Lost in the City Of Angels and how I was aimlessly walking around. And in Conquistador where Thirty Seconds To Mars talks about a scar which I have on my neck which is correlated to the Up In The Air reference above. I’ve always researched the Illuminati, and there are three songs that are directly making references to my life. Things in the music videos also show me references. Another thing, why is the lyric 'heart' instead of 'neck' in the censored version of Up In The Air?
Well I’m glad this post has come to an end. A real synopsis of an interesting time in my life that I really am seeking answers for. I’ve known for the longest time, but I’m ready to know the truth once and for all even though the truth has already been internalized personally and that’s all that matters. Plan to write about my psyche ward stays, prose, Politics, and other things in coming days and months. Signing off…
Paul Mason Ranck
The Battle Scarred Conquistador